Morning. Tired eyes. Sunlight through bamboo shades. Bed head. Don’t give a fuck.

YOLOCRUZ’12

• night 1: our room was small, but who cares? we barely used it for sleeping.
• the private island: i didn’t get off the boat, but it was a beautiful day.
• there were 3 brothers. my age. my sister thought they were gorgeous and yes, some of them were. she sat 3 feet from them and refused to say 2 words. for shame…
• Curacao is a gloomy and scary place with hellish, burning oil fields in the background but a rather nice resort with an artificial infinity beach up front.
• the “Ultimate Deck Party” was more or less “Old People and Slutty Tweens Doing the Cupid Shuffle”.
• The Hyatt resort in Aruba is easily the most beautiful place i’ve been. Lizards and various wildlife everywhere, and their landscape artist should be given ALL the awards. And the beach was gorgeous, too.
• The black swan was pretty…
• the girl: i’m not sure if she knows i was admiring/stalking/staring at her the first 5 days of the cruise. this is a horrible picture and i wish a had a better one, but you can get the idea that “bikini girl” is entirely stunning. One of the most gorgeous creatures I’ve ever been too intimidated by to talk to (she can wear the hell out of a bikini, by god). But i did. The second to last night. I talked to her and that’s all i honestly wanted, because when i started talking to her, “bikini girl” quickly became “Caitlin”, and Caitlin, as it turns out, is…really something else. It’s a shame we only knew each other so briefly since we seem to have…an eerie amount in common. 
• anywhoozle. not going off on a tangent about that (though i really, really could). last real day of the cruise (yesterday) Cait challenges me to sign up for the Princess Cruise-line water “olympics” and I challenged her right back. We both have this thing about putting ourselves in the spotlight. in public. open for embarrassment. but we got each other to participate with a little heckling from my sister and cait’s very cool friend Alex (alexandra). Caitlin and I ended up on the same team. We won. We got medals. I didn’t get a picture of that.

ha…the first 5 days on that ship i couldn’t wait to get home. at the end i found myself wishing for another 5 nights.

How I spent the last few days.

1. cooked delicious food - whiskey seared steak over garlic butter rice with bean sprouts garnished with chives and chili sauce - for two of my favorite ladies in the world.
2. had girls night - yes, i wore an avocado mask with them. no, i am not gay.
3. found narnia hidden away in a park with mariah, where she chose to make her awkward-ass “your welcome” face.

Another reason why people avoid taking me out in public.

for all the ladies out there on tumblr who propagate the terrible rumor that i am eye candy. GPOY