Dear Gays of The World,
I AM NOT GAY.
Please, don’t misunderstand. I completely love and support your kind. Your sexual orientation is not a crime, an abomination, or wrong in my eyes. And I find your compliments and advances and propositions wildly flattering. But PLEASE understand that I am RIDICULOUSLY HETEROSEXUAL. YES, I like to dress well and clean myself up. But it’s not for YOU. It’s for females.
I’m glad many of you think I’m “sexy” or “hot” or “cute” enough to constantly try to convince me that I am gay, but BELIEVE me when I say that I’m not a closet case. And it’s not denial. I’m a hopeless romantic, and I’ve felt unbearable attraction (romantic and sexual) but never towards a MAN. I will gladly be your friend. I’m not a homophobe by any stretch of the imagination. But you guys can NOT keep telling me that you KNOW you’re gonna “get some of” this, and you can’t keep coming on to me with such persistence after I’ve made it clear that I’m in to and into women. If anything, it’s a total turn off and at this rate will influence me to avoid gay company. And that’s not fair to anyone, because I love my gay friends very dearly.
And don’t use the “how can you know if you’ve never tried it?” thing. Did you have sex with a girl first and then decided you’d try a guy next because something felt wrong? MAYBE. MAYBE you did. But I don’t have to because I legitimately enjoy vaginal intercourse. I’ve kissed my fair share of boys just to humor them or on a drunk dare, but I promise you that they only further convinced me of my hetero status.
gays: i love you , just not with my body. nor will i ever love you with my body. not because i’m closeted. not because i’m afraid. but because i know who i am, just like you know who you are. please respect that.