I’ll be lucky to sleep at all tonight. I’m terrified but I have to do it. When the rejection comes I’ll blame it on naivety and “being a dumb kid who doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

This isn’t new to me. But it does mean a bit more than it has before.
I want her to be happy. If that takes me not being in her life…I don’t want that. I was even explicitly told that she doesn’t want that. But they don’t like breaking hearts any more than I do so they say things to spare feelings.

I just need to know that I stand absolutely no chance. I just need to know it’s one-sided and there was/is/never will be anything legitimately there for us.